30-Mar-2008
One day.
One day I will be Alive again.
One day I will be Myself again.
One day I will be Strong again,
But;
Today I will be Worthless again.
Today I will be Pitiful again.
Today I will be Nothing.
If you are looking for an answer for Depression you will not find it hear.
I went to the Doctor a couple of months back, and she put me on Citalopram, one a day for the next six months, after six months the depression should not came back,
But how long had I been depressed for ?
5-Jul-2005 My father went into hospital for a routine operation, A few days later after the operation, he became ill and went for another operation, catching a super bug, for the next two months he was in and out of I.C.U.
4-Sep-2005 My dads 79th birthday went up early and give him a shave, he was sitting up and talking like his old self again,
5-Sep-2005 8am my sister Julie phone me at work, I was at the hospital within 20mins, he had died about half an hour before I got to the hospital.
To say my would had fallen apart was an understatement, I was heartbroken I was empty inside, my father my best friend had left me. I can’t remember the next few days, after about a week I went to the doctor’s who signed me of work for two weeks with depression, at about the same time I received a letter from my employers (royal mail) as to why I was ill. I had already told my manager my father had died. Work was the last think on my mind and the latter went in the bin. A week later another letter went in the bin.
After three weeks I was back at work, but how was I , The fact was I was dead inside, I was a zombie. About 4 weeks after being back at work I got a letter from royal mail to go for an interview to answer questions as to why I should not be dismiss. The interview was not for another four more weeks. I could not believe want I was reading. My father had not been dead 2 months and after 15 years of loyal service to royal mail all they can do is sack me,
At the interview the manager was asking me if I understood why I was they. But even after him telling me why I still can’t understand why, I was dead I was a zombie.
The outcome of the interview was my stage 2 would start again which only help to get me the sack two years later.
During 2006 I Started getting headache, stomach ache, and dizziness. With too much time of work, I had more then once asked for time off which was owning to me but the manager always refused.
March 2007 dismissed from Royal mail
5-Jul-2007 two years to the day that my dad went in to hospital was my last day work for royal mail.
After two and half years I am still dead but one day I will be alive again.
I have not been alone many people have help me out, but most of all is my wife she as been a rock and is always they for me without her love and support I would be much worst off. I am very lucky to have such an understanding wife, Julie I love you. xxx
